Taking Care of Mom and Dad: Setting Up a Durable Power of Attorney

You can have a durable power of attorney set up by your parents' lawyer at the same time you and your parents make any modifications to their will. A good practice is to have as much of what you are allowed to do under the durable power of attorney out in the open for all of the other family members to see. This should avoid resentment caused by other family members not knowing what's going on.

Some of the provisions that you can have added to the durable power of attorney that allow powers to be shared include:

• Have the durable power of attorney require that all transactions be accounted for and reported to other family members through a regular statement. Statements can be issued as frequently as once a month. Transactions accounted for include payments made, tracking of all investments, and any income received. This will allow any interested party to have a full accounting of your parents' affairs.
• For large transactions, have the durable power of attorney require approval (via signature or written consent) from another family member or an outside interested party. This allows for consensus with regard to the management of your parents' financial assets.
• Allow for you to be replaced by another person named in the durable power of attorney. This prevents any family problems from nullifying the entire agreement and interfering with what's best for your parents.

Have copies of the document distributed to all interested parties. Original signed copies should be provided to hospitals and banks so that these institutions have a copy on file and therefore actions will not be held up because they are unaware of the powers granted to you by the power of attorney.

A power of attorney does not have to be drawn up by a lawyer to be legally binding. Blank forms are readily available on the Internet and elsewhere. Most states do not require a durable power of attorney to be notarized and they do not have to be witnessed, as do wills. But, to avoid problems later, it's usually a good idea to invest some time and money in making sure the agreement is solid.

A durable power of attorney document should be either drafted -- or at least reviewed -- by an attorney with some knowledge of elder care law in your state. Like any contract, a badly drafted power of attorney can end up causing more trouble than it resolves.