Kids and Health Care: Stress
Stress can affect anyone, even a child, who feels overwhelmed. A two-year-old may be anxious because the person -- usually, her parent -- she needs to help her feel good isn't there enough to satisfy her. In preschoolers, separation from parents is the greatest cause of anxiety.
As children get older, academic and social pressures can create stress. In addition, well-meaning parents sometimes unwittingly add to the stress in their children's lives; ambitious parents often have great expectations for their children, who may lack their parents' motivation or capabilities. Parents who push their children to excel in sports or who enroll their children in too many activities may also cause unnecessary stress and frustration if their children don't share their goals.
Simply said, stress is a function of the demands placed on people and their ability (or inability) to meet them. These demands often come from outside sources (such as family, friends or school); but they can also come from within.
Some kids internalize all kinds of outside pressures: fights their parents have, petty social rituals at schools, their appearance, violence on television, family member's happiness or sadness, world events.... Sometimes it shocks parents to find out what things make kids feel stressed.
Usually, kids -- like adults -- will function with their stress well enough until some sort of triggering event happens that makes the stress unbearable. For children, these triggers can be an illness or death in the family, a divorce or a dramatic change in family circumstances.
How can you identify serious stress? It's difficult. Abrupt changes in behavior -- things like mood swings, self-destructive actions, changes in sleep patterns or bed-wetting -- can be indicators. Some children experience physical effects, including stomachaches and headaches. Others have trouble concentrating or completing schoolwork; others become withdrawn or spend a lot of time alone.
This range of responses is a big part of the reason that insurance and health plans put strict limits on how much mental health care they will cover. Stress takes many forms and can involve many cures.
If you think your kids are feeling stress, there may be non-insurance steps that you can take to make the situation better.
Proper rest and good nutrition can help increase your child's resistance to stress -- make sure they're getting these. Time with parents can help, too; whether your child needs to talk...or just to be in the same room...with you, make yourself available. It's often hard after a day of work, to play with your kids or talk to them about their day; but, by showing interest in your child's life, you underscore the family that he or she can rely on.
Children like routine. If times are particularly stressful, it can help to set daily schedules -- school, doctors' appointments, sports -- with extra detail.
And remember that some level of stress is normal; let your child know that it's normal to feel angry, scared, lonely or anxious. Let him or her know that other people feel the same things.
